I’m sure everyone saw this coming.
For a very long time, Firestone has been a source of enjoyment, relaxation, and the start of lifelong friendships - for me, anyways. The community was at its absolute peak three to four years ago, around the birth of V2. If you were around at the time, you know that despite the community itself being relatively large, everyone had a sense of pride and unity. Together, we were the embodiment of the state. Dare I describe the community as utopian, for despite our flaws, we came from all walks of life - all corners of the earth - seeking that same comfort and friendship very few other communities could provide.
If you were to ask me, I would tell you that the community began to drift from what it was around 2018. Personally, it seemed that everyone was becoming increasingly aggressive, competitive, and most everyone that mattered back then began to take up in their own cliques and network of friends. With the exception of a handful, most everyone had a particular group of go-to people - me included. The success of the individual person and the friend group became the unquestioned priority, leading to a slew of toxic behaviors. Most everyone but a select few became alarmingly divided over things that, on a platform ultimately designed for entertainment and unity, had no place in general discussion - politics. Given the ever-dramatic political landscape of the United States, it’s hard to ignore what’s going on in [most of our] home(s), but I sincerely wish we made more of an effort to keep politics out.
Fast forward three years later and things have changed. Most of the friend groups were either pushed out or exist quietly with extremely withered numbers. The promise of V3 is just around the corner, and things seem like they’re on the up and up for the state. Firestone boasts a healthy playerbase, and V3’s in the works. V2 (development wise, anyway) is the best it’s ever been. Although many positive things have come from the past 18 months, you’d be naive to ignore the introduction of completely new issues. All the kids from 2017 are grown now, and have effectively left the community in preference of our jobs, relationships, and school. The handful of us that are left are here in extremely minor capacities or from an inability to let go. While the new “generation” of community members that are here to replace us have done some truly amazing and impressive things, I’d be lying if I said that some of them (you) are without their (your) problems.
Fed’s preferential treatment for Connor and other members of the community have been the subject of disagreement for what’s starting to become a long time. I’d hate to remember anyone still here in a bad light, but some people do not change. I don’t want to complain too much, and I think that this is the best decision for everyone. Although Fed’s relationship with certain members of the community has and likely will continue to ignore logic and rational thinking. You’re more than welcome to disagree or simply insist that I’m upset, but I seriously do not care. I’ve had more than enough.
That aside, it’s very obvious that I’ve been very slow and quiet in the scheme of development. I’ve taken up two new jobs in addition to being a volunteer firefighter and a full time college student, so of course the time I can afford is limited. Despite the changes in my life, I’ve enjoyed every second of it so much. I was able to leave the country with my friends overseas. I’ve been blessed with the ability to help family friends move into and renovate their dream house. When there’s time, I can leave my house and just cruise until I’m satisfied. With what limited time I do have for myself, I prioritize myself and my relationships, and I’m wholly unapologetic. I’m in my prime to be living my life, and many of you are too.
If you’re one of “those” people who believe that I’m to be faulted for putting my priorities over a game, shame on you. I’ve been here long enough to see dozens of people effectively ruin their lives over this platform, ignorant or indifferent to how bad their attachment to this place is. We, the upcoming generation of kids, are destined for great things. Do not ever lose sight of your goals and allow this place to become the focal point of your life. Firestone can provide you as much joy as it once did to me, but just remember that Firestone won’t pay your bills, give you a degree, or secure your future. Witnessing many of you destroy your lives because you don’t know when to quit is, frankly, one of the most depressing things I’ve seen.
I can take on a very cruel persona, but I promise you that I care for your wellbeing. I am BEGGING you to re-evaluate your life. I BEG you to swallow your pride and admit that you need help. When you lie to yourself that everything’s okay, you’re fooling nobody. I’m not the first person to tell you this, and I won’t be the last. If you let this place define your life to the point that you cross a line you can’t come back from, think of all the people that care about you that will be disappointed. Admitting you need help really is the strongest thing you can do. Pride is the devil, and, left unchecked, it will be your downfall. Let go of your pride and accept that you can’t and won’t win them all. I don’t care what anyone tells you, hubris is your biggest enemy. You are your worst enemy, and there’s no amount of bullying, attacking, or harrassment from the outside that will do as much damage to you as your own demons. Many of you will ignore what I’m telling you or pass it off as not applying to you, but chances are you’re the same people who need to hear this, and chances are it’s because you’ve ignored warnings like these in the past that you’ll end up in a very undesirable position later in your lives. Regardless, I continue to pray that one day, you will save yourself.
I’d hate to leave while still in hot water with some of you, so I’d like to take the time to apologize. Whoever you are - whatever I’ve done - however long ago - I’m sorry. Though I do not expect to just be up and forgiven, I encourage you to let go of your quarrels with everyone. I’ve never been able to forgive easily, and I still don’t. I’m a work in progress, and I hope you can find it in you to work on improving your self and quality of life. Personal gratification and success will out-satisfy any news of failure you could get about anyone. Seek personal success to displease your adversaries, if not for anything else. Finally, if not for that, understand that I’ll be gone and could truly care less. “You are your biggest enemy” isn’t just a saying - the only person to suffer if you can’t forgive is you.
Another issue I’d like to address is mental health. I’ve made very many passes and jokes on mental health and suicide in the past, but it’s important that you all understand that this platform is NOT a remedy for your mental health problems. I’ve seen plenty of people bullied to the point of depression and contemplating suicide, both growing up and on this platform. The sooner you accept that opinions only matter if you let them, the sooner you can begin to evolve as a person. Try being on this platform and act like it’s not going to matter in 15 years, and see how much more enlightened you feel. I hope someone is there for you when you need it most, and to comfort you in your darkest hours. You are loved and appreciated. Please keep your own health in your highest regards. Take care of yourself and do not be afraid to reach out. We all want to see you succeed.
Again, I really do care about you, despite what you may think. Whatever your problems are, whoever you are, I wish with every fiber of my being that you may achieve the best version of yourself someday. Whatever demons you’re fighting, whatever your major malfunction is, I wish you the best of luck and fully encourage you to keep fighting every day. Things got better for me, and I’d be out of my element if I didn’t tell you that they will for you too.
It’s not about the pay, and it never was. Material things never motivated me in life - it was all about the experience and community. When these things no longer encouraged me to remain here, the money definitely did not encourage me to stay. I’ve got my own projects making me money, and I’m well off. Unlike some other prior developers, money never drove me and I’m rather proud of that. Money’s important, but it should never be your driving force for anything. Money will turn your life upside down, ruin your relationships, and take your soul before you even begin to see a slither of it. If money still is your end goal, I pray that you proceed with caution in your future endeavours.
Effectively growing up here has given me some intense perspective on life, and I am grateful for the experiences and growth it has fostered for me as a person. Regardless, I understand that nothing lasts forever and that eventually, you must move on. Such is life, and I accept that. If you, reading this letter, believe that you will be here forever, you won’t even live forever. I hope you can live with yourself if, in the comparably short amount of time on this earth, you fail to impact someone’s life.
There’s no need to list names of people that I want to shout out, because in case you completely missed the point of this letter. Everyone I’ve interacted with, good or bad, has left me with valuable experiences. I will never forget any of you, and hope you all do amazing things.
With that, I quit.
Wishing you all the best,
apollo
