Hello everyone, Outstanding Former Senator and Warmonger PropMcRib.
That’s right, I’m running for re-election. Why might you ask?
Well, lemme tell you. That’s none of your business.
But what is your business is what I plan to do:
-Make Firestone better
-Start another war (and win it)
-Reform outdated laws (I’m so good at that)
-Other senator stuff
You might be wondering to yourself, “Is he qualified?”
To answer your question, probably not. But here are my totally relevant qualifications in case you’re wondering:
-FBI CIS Agent
-FNG 6th Ranger Battalion Command Sergeant Major
-Member of FNG Board of Military Review
-Former Senator
-Older than 12
Vote for me.
Signed,
Outstanding Former Senator and Warmonger PropMcRib