THE AUTHORITARIAN OLIGARCHY PARTY OF FIRESTONE
The silly democrats have opened debates on whether they establish themselves as a political party. In relation to that, they are just a waste of space compared to the Authoritarian Oligarchians (AOs)! We pride ourselves in complete and total control. You won’t have to do anything for yourself, ever! Stress will be eliminated upon all civilians, as anything stress-worthy will be eliminated!
Getting Rid of Stress:
As stated previously, we AOs aim to get rid of stress. To do this, we’ll get rid of anything stressful. There can’t be stress without stressors! To do this, your entire life will be controlled by the Central Party (CP) in order to ensure that you will not stress yourself on life decisions. Relationships, friendships, and other things will all be abolished so you don’t have to worry about it. With all this, you’ll be renewed as an efficient worker to serve your leaders. Don’t worry though, there are still job quotas!
Governing Powers:
Now, as we are an oligarchy, are selected group will be selected into the Central Party (CP) to control the government. The CP deserves complete obedience from its civilians, and will decide on every single decision from a government standpoint. The working people have no say in government, that’d be pure anarchy!
Freedom of Speech? Never Heard of It:
If a conversation among civilians trecks off the beaten path of the topic of work, they will be arrested and eliminated if captured. Don’t worry though, they’ll be sent to a Good Useful Lifting Awesome Great program designed to make them conform to the CP’s standards, aka GULAG. Talking against the government isn’t very efficient at all, either, and opposers will be taken by the National Guard and revised as infantrymen to die on the front lines of war. Now that’s efficient and productive!
Consitution? What Do You Mean?:
Of course, of course there’s a constitution! The one signed by the CP, of course! It’ll be revised, and ensure maximum work efficiency.
Oath to the Government:
After completing all courses of the Stimulation Training and Large Institution Network training program, aka STALIN, workers/civilians will be required to take an oath to the government. This oath entails complete obedience to the government and ensured oppression. Violation of the oath will result in extermination!
Overall, you’re giving up your civil liberties for this, but hey, what does it matter?
What can go wrong?