Good evening (or morning) to all you ladies and gentlemen.
I have made a decision to return to Firestone. If you do know me, I don’t know in what way you view me as but hopefully it is something that resembles decency. Regardless, I am not here to spew on about random shit that you don’t care about, so, let’s get to the point.
I will run in the latest Senate election and I am seeking support to secure my seat as Senator. Now, why should you vote for this Irish car-bombing assassin? (that is a joke, unionists) Not only am I apart of the IRA (still sarcasm, pesky unionists), but I am a former Sergeant of the Secret Service and former Major in the National Guard (CO of the 7th Infantry Training Company which ran FITE)
Well, too be honest, I’m not quite sure why you would but I am running as I believe it is my civic duty to do so.
I have not been active in Firestone since about September and I have returned, just as General MacArthur did in the Philippines in 1944; obviously my return not being quite as dramatic as his.
I see other similar threads that ramble on about what the candidate will do in office, and I — and no doubt others — give a rats arse about some boring legislation that nobody cares about. I am here to represent my fellow peoples of Firestone and serve, to the best of my ability, in the Firestone Senate.
If you do not support me, well, to quote Joe Biden: “Are you a junkie?”
That’s all you’ll here from me today and you’ll hear a lot more should you support.
Thank you!